Disappearing In Your Relationship? ‘Loving Him Without Losing You’ by Beverly Engel
Loving Him Without Losing You
Amazon.com & Amazon.co.uk
It can happen to any of us when we’re in a relationship. We start losing our own identity, our individuality, our very self – we start disappearing. Loving Him Without Losing You looks closely at this issue, with compassion and understanding. Most importantly, it offers some wise and useful advice. Although written for women, this book is beneficial for anyone who is losing themselves in any kind of relationship – male or female.
There are certain things to look out for which show we could be disappearing in our relationship:
- Getting involved in a relationship too quickly – it’s so easy to get swept away when things happen quickly and not realise we are losing our identity;
- Not maintaining a separate life from our partner – we stop seeing our own friends and going out with them, and/or we don’t have friends, or work, which is separate from our partner;
- Trying to change to please our partner – this can happen in so many ways: how we dress, the friends we have, how we behave, and in many other areas;
- Getting involved in an unequal relationship – this is particularly relevant with financial issues, when one partner earns, and often controls, all of the money;
- Not speaking up for ourselves – keen to keep a relationship going we can easily become silenced and less willing to offer our true opinion: we can become less authentic, less able to be our true selves.
If any of these things strike a chord with you, do investigate the book. Engel offers concrete things – through a discussion of seven commitments – which we can do to begin to claim and reclaim our identity.
Being authentic – true to your self – is such a crucial part of stopping yourself disappearing. Along with the book, please also check out the free self-help resource you received, when signing up. You’ll find a couple of essays dedicated to the importance of authenticity and finding your voice in there.
As the famous psychiatrist Carl Jung said:
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
And as an extra, follow-on thought,
Is anyone stopping you from being true to yourself?
